Kami Baergen • Feelings

Why are some women so tough to like? How do you combat?

I think we're all a little jaded by woman-to-woman competition, but also the competition of women-to-men. Because of those things and because of humanity we've all been hurt before and can continue on pretty calloused and cold.  We're women, we experience like 10 more sences than men and have brains that feel like spaghetti a lot of times. Combat by asking questions. People like talking about themselves, but more importantly they like when people are interested in them. The more questions you can ask with humility and compassion the more of those walls will start to come down. 


How do you find balance in being a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, a co worker, every other role you play? 

Every relationship and role is so different, and I'm most definitely a quality time person, so I've found balance by (this will sound awful) prioritizing relationships and visually writing out who's who and who I need to spend time - it helps keep close the people who uplift and support you rather than those relationships you're still really confused why you're spending time with them.  I talk on the phone and write letters/cards to people.

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What is the toughest position you've ever been put in, with family, friends and/or at work? How did you make peace or exit or rise above?

I don't know. I think I've blocked a lot of it out. 


Where do you find rest and solitude? 

At the ocean, in a forest, and with friends.


When do you think the whole getting married, having kids, family life, is going to happen for you? Is that something you want for your life? If so, when and what will it look like? Will you stay at home? Work?

I absolutely want to be married and be a mother, I don't know when or if it will happen (as I said, a great fear is that I'll miss this in life). First and foremost is to find a good partner, which is theoretically easy, and in actuality the hardest fucking thing - especially since the world is literally our oyster and in the palm of our hands (and pockets) at all times, and our generation (and probably the following generations) are plagued with the "but what if there's someone better?!" but back in the day people would go "you rule and you're in my life, let's do this." Whenever I do have kids I will work from home, as I hope to do for most of my life, and hopefully I'll raise some cool kids who can make humanity a better place.  


When you are 85, a cute grandma with all kinds of life experience and wisdom, where do you see yourself and what are you doing?

I'm on land, near the ocean, with a garden. Always making lots of dinners for friends and family to collect around, and am still making art and exploring the world around me. I never want to let go of my child-self, it seems as though it would be rather boring. 


Photography: Michael Cooper, @cooperphotog

Interview: Sarah Kim